How can I ever understand.

This is a poem I wrote bout a lil girl who never knew she was dead.....Enjoy.

A little girl with an innocent heart
waiting by the door all day long
When is mummy going to come home?
Isn't it past my story and bed time?
Wouldn't I even brush my teeth
or get a good night kiss from her
How can I ever understand.

Why is daddy looking like that?
he only does that when my tummy hurts
and the doctors get to give me some pills
or every time Grandma's go to heaven
but I'm right here, beautifully dressed in white
and heaven is full of grandma's
How can I ever understand.

I heard the click of the door
as mummy drifted into the house
They hugged for so long
Mummy! My tiny heart called
Is it my birthday? I look like a princess
Why aren't you dressed like me.
How can I understand.

I reached but couldn't touch
Mummy has a red teary eyes
she only does that when she cuts onions
or when I sleep for such a long time
but there is no onions in the house
and I am right awake just beside her
How can I understand.

Couldn't they just see me
they act like I am not here
or is it a birthday surprise
but my birthday is in 3 months time
Why is Mummy clinging to a picture of me?
And Daddy patting her at the back
How can I understand.

I spoke but they were not listening
Maybe I am going to get a baby sister
and they wouldn't love me anymore
I ran upstairs to cry along with bonny
My room is gone! and even bonny isn't there
Where are my toys and my little cute bed
How can I ever understand.

I went out but Mummy wasn't there
and daddy's smell was gone
this doesn't look like our house
but like the heaven grand pa talked about
But I don't have white hairs and I can't be here
I didn't even tell mum and dad I was coming
How can I ever understand.

Mary’s Thoughts (inspired by Luke 1 vs 26 – 38)

Mary’s Thoughts

This wasn't written in the bible, it is just a glimpse of how I thought Mary would have felt at that time. Enjoy.

Of course I was scared out of my wits at first. Who wouldn’t have been? But, after the messenger left, I got this funny, peaceful feeling and, despite everything, that’s never totally gone. Not that I knew how it was going to turn out, mind: I’d no idea. I wasn’t educated, see. I didn’t understand what was going on – there’s still a lot I don’t get – and even all the clever teachers I’ve come across haven’t been able to explain exactly why it all happened like that. Why me? I wasn’t nothing special or anything; I didn’t deserve it more than anyone else. I didn’t deserve it at all! I’m just the same as you! And I wasn’t always obedient after-wards neither. Don’t think that. I didn’t always trust what God said, I’m sorry to say. But then being a pregnant, unmarried teenager in my village at that time just wasn’t on, you see…Well, you can imagine what the elders would have said! I was so scared! It doesn’t bear thinking about, that doesn’t….Without dear Joseph, I don’t know how I would have got through it. He was gentle and kind even before he knew the truth, but I don’t think even he would have married me if he hadn’t understood who the child really was….Such shame! Women didn’t never recover from it in those days!

As it was, it wasn’t easy in the village, I can tell you: all those quick, disapproving looks they thought I didn’t see; all that whispering. I’m sure some of them have gone to their graves thinking the worst of me. Well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. I’m just sorry for them, that they never knew who he really was; never knew him. That’s the greatest loss any of us could ever have. And I’m not saying that just ‘cos I held him in my arms first, saw those bright, all-knowing eyes staring out at me before anyone else did. He was precious to me - but then any mother’d say the same…But that wasn’t – isn’t - the whole story. What made knowing him so special was that I could tell he really understood me – and not just me, neither – right from the start. I truly think that he knew me – knows me – better than I know myself. I could read it in his eyes – oh – way before he could walk or talk…I know, I know! It doesn’t seem to make no sense! But that’s the way it was; the way it is. Thank God!

A letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I’m writing to you just like every year
Always been good since the last time
You brought me gifts on your red deer
I left you no milk but some sweet lime
Do forgive me for this funny mistake
But I’m sure you loved the cheesecake

I don’t want a Barbie doll under my tree
Seeing I’m now grown to own a perfume
But I’m not asking for that or a new birdie
All I want this year is for a bridegroom
For cruel Miss Betsy living near the lake
So she can be nice to kids like small Jake

Hope my wishes are not getting too much
Since I still have some more things to ask
For the old lady at the gate of our church
Always carrying that broken yellow flask
Please send her some pretty shiny roses
So they could brighten her dirty blouses

I know I didn’t write something for myself
Because my wishes came true very early
You sent them through your little green elf
Who came together with a cute pink fairy
So my letter is for many living around me
That their Season be full of so much glee

Another year is almost gone..

Yeah Yeah, it's been quiet a very long time, been kinda busy after all. Busy enough for my blog you may ask but then I must say I have been too busy for even myself:)) I can't say I am too busy too eat though. Enough of the busy line...

So it's December again and truthfully I have been counting down to Xmas since the beginning of November.... (Typical me). Now it's just around the corner and the only early gift I seem to be getting is *NOSTALGIA* , 'neways I know its going to be fun even though exams are around the corner :( but it will soon be over and I hope it takes the cold with it.

I know you are definitely expecting me to write what I am thankful for again this year as usual, but truthfully this year has given me the best bitter sweet feeling(Hmn...contradictory I know). To be more frank , God gave me victory in several aspect of my life and I just cannot start writing the list of what I am thankful for right now...because I wouldn't stop writing till I grow Grey hairs.

Since another year is almost gone with 26 beautiful days to look forward to before 2011, I feel I should really plan for the New year,I have so many expectations and achievements in 2011...(I see it already). Don't worry I am not going to start making new year resolutions that people never keep but one things is for sure their are certain things that I have to make an effort to do this 3things this year..

1)I definitely have to decide whether I want to continue with the guitar or just give it out to's begging to be played.

2)I have to change my laptop, the thing can really fry yam (Aba..3 yrs don waka) , yes I know I got an Ipad but an IPAD isn't a laptop(I better stop deceiving myself)

3)It's high time I threw caution to the wind and printed my Chapbook....Delayed too long!!!

That is that for that but for 2011 my number 1 goal is to grow in Christ and his love...I want my light to so SHINE...

Ok maybe I will just stop for now but I will definitely write to you soon...yes you...but first let me write my letter to Santa(You will be reading it soon)..