Mary’s Thoughts (inspired by Luke 1 vs 26 – 38)

Mary’s Thoughts

This wasn't written in the bible, it is just a glimpse of how I thought Mary would have felt at that time. Enjoy.

Of course I was scared out of my wits at first. Who wouldn’t have been? But, after the messenger left, I got this funny, peaceful feeling and, despite everything, that’s never totally gone. Not that I knew how it was going to turn out, mind: I’d no idea. I wasn’t educated, see. I didn’t understand what was going on – there’s still a lot I don’t get – and even all the clever teachers I’ve come across haven’t been able to explain exactly why it all happened like that. Why me? I wasn’t nothing special or anything; I didn’t deserve it more than anyone else. I didn’t deserve it at all! I’m just the same as you! And I wasn’t always obedient after-wards neither. Don’t think that. I didn’t always trust what God said, I’m sorry to say. But then being a pregnant, unmarried teenager in my village at that time just wasn’t on, you see…Well, you can imagine what the elders would have said! I was so scared! It doesn’t bear thinking about, that doesn’t….Without dear Joseph, I don’t know how I would have got through it. He was gentle and kind even before he knew the truth, but I don’t think even he would have married me if he hadn’t understood who the child really was….Such shame! Women didn’t never recover from it in those days!

As it was, it wasn’t easy in the village, I can tell you: all those quick, disapproving looks they thought I didn’t see; all that whispering. I’m sure some of them have gone to their graves thinking the worst of me. Well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. I’m just sorry for them, that they never knew who he really was; never knew him. That’s the greatest loss any of us could ever have. And I’m not saying that just ‘cos I held him in my arms first, saw those bright, all-knowing eyes staring out at me before anyone else did. He was precious to me - but then any mother’d say the same…But that wasn’t – isn’t - the whole story. What made knowing him so special was that I could tell he really understood me – and not just me, neither – right from the start. I truly think that he knew me – knows me – better than I know myself. I could read it in his eyes – oh – way before he could walk or talk…I know, I know! It doesn’t seem to make no sense! But that’s the way it was; the way it is. Thank God!