"Trust your Instincts"

  Is it me or English is just too complicated? I must admit I love the language but it just confuses me sometimes. By the way no day goes by without me learning a new word, ‘DONNING’ is the latest. Ok that is that, back to my main topic today which is ‘INSTINCTS’. Yeah that little word that gets used a lot that at times I feel it’s been abused. Why do people say things like ‘trust your instincts’. That doesn’t work for everyone, you can’t just go about telling anyone who comes to you for advice to trust their instincts! Get this, some people are just naturally paranoid and at this point asking them to trust their instincts is like telling them to embrace their paranoia.

  So instinct is defined as an inborn pattern of behaviour shaped by centuries of human experience, it is part of the personality that senses danger and safety. Bottom line-  Instinct is the jungle wisdom that tells you when to wait, when to take action, who to trust and who not to trust. Some say you can’t always tell the difference between instincts and fear, well maybe but if instincts are what I think they are then it always points towards something while fear pulls you away from something. For example Instincts help you find answers to your questions while fear helps you run away from them. Keep this in mind, fear always comes along with anything that makes you grow or stretch outside of your comfort zone.

Let’s paint a scenario together, perhaps you were with a boyfriend/girlfriend discussing something and along the line he/she gave you certain information. So few weeks later he/she comes up to you and tells you something different that is very contradictory to what they said earlier, fortunately you are the one with the good memory. There and then you realize that your bf/gf is lying to you, that is because you feel this great thug in your heart telling you something is wrong, but you are not too sure what is it. The First question is- Could it be your instincts telling you they are lying or can it be the fact that you knew for sure they were lying based on a solid fact? Second question- If you definitely think it’s your instincts working here, what do you do, trust it?  Now you see why I said English is complicated...lol silly me that definitely has nothing to do with English :)

I’ve come to realize that the issue of instincts comes in when it has to do with issues of the heart or mostly dangerous situations. From experience, I feel my body senses danger even way before my mind does. You know that sudden chill you feel around a certain person that makes you feel prickly around him/her that even though you are bored you would rather excuse yourself permanently than spend uncomfortable hours with them. Yeah I get this sometimes, but the truth is half of the time it’s just me being cynical. I’m not saying you should never trust your gut, yeah you should but you can’t base all your life decisions basically on what your instincts tell you. Sometimes you could be wrong. Truthfully the concept of ‘Instincts’ is one thing I may never understand thoroughly; nevertheless I’ve learnt to trust and believe in people until proving otherwise.

Anyway, never let fear override your instincts or intuition. We need to pay attention to how we feel about situations vs. how we think about them, so that even when our head is screaming that we are insane our mind totally remains at peace.
Have a sleek week everyone. X

Memories of a lost dream

  I strolled aimlessly at the train station. It was very obvious that my nerves were getting the best of me; I was busy twisting my middle finger like I always did when my nerve failed me.  ‘Ok, twenty more minutes’ I thought, focusing my gaze on the two elderly couples looking for a seat prior to their train departure. Aww, so cute I silently murmured. My mind was drifting away from them…was drifting to two weeks ago…

  ‘’I am tired of Facebook and all the social media sites this days, they are kind of boring. Gosh I need a life; things were getting a bit too lonely and the same old routine. I need something to look forward to everyday’’ I seriously pondered. Just like always I was busy going back to the same old routine of clicking profiles and reading lousy about ME’s. Well that was when I saw him. I will never know if it was boredom that made me type the words to him or maybe it’s the curiosity I have in me, after all curiosity never did kill anything. Whichever way I just couldn’t stop myself from connecting with him.
Few hours later, I was nervous to open the email blinking before my eyes, perhaps it was the fear of what was written inside or probably because I felt cheesy for sending the message and now I’ve gotten a reply and I couldn’t even get myself to open it.

 Finally I did.

Five Words changed everything. “Yes, we can be friends”

  It was the sound of the little boy screaming for some candy that knocked me back to the moment. I smiled sheepishly at how I wondered off again to my own very world. The two couples were no longer there. I checked my time and I had actually gone to memory land for about ten minutes.

 ‘You are so freaking weird’ I said to myself.

  There was an empty seat right across the candy shop; I hurriedly went to take it before someone else could. No doubt that my leg needed some rest now. I had gone to meet an old school mate earlier for a cup of coffee, afterwards I took a mini tour of the city hoping to while away some time. Talking of time, I glanced at my wrist watch. It was time. I could hear the pounding of my heart over my ears. I brought out my phone to play some games, that will surely help me calm down. It always does. I was totally winning my game when I heard his voice over my bent head.  ‘Hey, sorry I’m late he said’. I was mesmerized by how cute he was and all I could say was ‘that’s ok’. The rest was mystery.

  We were busy sipping coffee and laughing at how stupid the movie was.

It felt like home.

No it was home.

   I leaned against him, my head on his solid chest as he wrapped his arms around me.  I felt safe and secured. I knew at that moment that we were meant to be. Things had gone so fast from the moment we met. The chemistry was undeniable, it was very clear that we both wanted to be in a relationship with one another. Throwing caution to the wind, we took a bold step together. Things were right, so right that it felt like fantasy. I don’t believe in fairy tales but I was having one of my own. My very own ‘Cinderella story’. I looked up to stare into the eyes of my prince; I could see all the care in there.

“Will you be mine?” He whispered

 I smiled “I’ve always been yours”

He lowered his head to meet mine. I knew it was the magical kiss….I didn’t have to kiss many frogs to meet my prince...

I shut my eyes awaiting the feel of his lips against mine….

  My alarm beeped repeatedly, jolting me out of the best moment of my life. How could it be a dream? No way. I tightly shut my eyes hoping it will all come back again.

‘God, this is what I want’ I prayed silently.

  I knew it was time to get up and get over my dream, but I was determined. I’m finding my prince charming and when I do I’m going to lose myself in every fairy tale we create together.