Challenges of dating me

8 Fears I have about Dating

Liking you too much
You not liking me as much
You leaving me for someone else
You cheating on me - with anyone!
Rats. Okay. Really not love related but I hate rats and if you can keep me calm during a rat episode. I’ll know you care about me. :P
Cooking you something disgusting. Haha, seriously.
Farting/Burping before we’re at the proper “fart/burp” comfort-level
My family/friends/roommates/coworkers not liking you when I really do.


7 Wants — I’m not asking for much, just these 7 things... And maybe a few more, but these 7 are important to me.  

Non-shady individual. If you're hiding your phone from me or just being secretive about what you're doing, I will get really angry.
Someone who has a life!
Someone I can make weird noises around and dance like a goof but still be viewed as pretty normal
A person that understands how consumed with work I am and be nonjudgmental about my desire to work.
Loyalty is pretty big.
If you can communicate your problems (“I feel” messages!!!) then you are definitely someone I want to date.
Someone who will defend me if need be. If your friend says something mean about me, I sure do expect you to stand up for me regardless of how long you & friend have been friends for. I would do the same for you because I care about you. That, and it’s just plain nice to show you care.

6 Loves — Do these and I’ll like you loads!

1. Make me coffee
2. Make me anything for that matter
3. Take dumb pictures together. A bunch of ‘em, too
4. Make playlists for one another. Seriously, I’m such girl though, so I'll overanalyze every lyric to every song you put on it. No but really.
5. Scream and cheer with me for our favorite sports teams
6. be able to enjoy one another’s company. We don’t need to be up each other’s butts’ 24/7. If we can sit in the same room and do our own individual thing without feeling ignored, then that’s good, too!


3 Places I will take you or ask you to go with me

Cinema/Park-  I will want you as my companion because let’s be real, someone else is going to try to be  if you don't.
Paris : Ohhhh!!! Adventures! Come with me anywhere the wind takes us!
Like I said before, if I bring you home to mom & dad, to the roommates, to my coworkers, to my friends — you are really liked. Don’t mess it up or my heart will break and I’ll be upset!!


The Girl Who Silenced The World For 6 Minutes.

When she was 12, Severn Suzuki and three Vancouver schoolmates raised money to go to the United Nations Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro. Her speech to delegates had such an impact that she became a frequent invitee to U.N. conferences.




THE SPEECH   

Hello. I'm Severn Suzuki, speaking for ECO, the Environmental Children's Organization. We are a group of 12 and 13 year olds trying to make a difference: Vanessa Suttie, Morgan Geisler, Michelle Quigg, and me. We've raised all the money to come here ourselves, to come 5,000 miles to tell you adults you must change your ways.

Coming up here today, I have no hidden agenda. I am fighting for my future. Losing my future is not like losing an election or a few points on the stock market. I am here to speak for all generations to come. I am here to speak on behalf of the starving children around the world whose cries go unheard. I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere left to go. I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in our ozone. I am afraid to breathe the air because I don't know what chemicals are in it. I used to go fishing in Vancouver - my home - with my dad, until just a few years ago we found the fish full of cancers. And now we hear of animals and plants going extinct every day, vanishing forever.

In my life, I have dreamt of seeing the great herds of wild animals, jungles and rainforests, full of birds and butterflies, but now I wonder if they will even exist for my children to see. Did you have to worry of these things when you were my age? All this is happening before our eyes and yet we act as if we have all the time we want and all the solutions. I'm only a child, and I don't have all the solutions. I want you to realize, neither do you. You don't know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer. You don't know how to bring the salmon back up a dead stream. You don't know how to bring back an animal now extinct. And you can't bring back the forest that once grew where there is now a desert.
If you don't know how to fix it, please stop breaking it.

Here you may be delegates of your government, businesspeople, organizers, reporters or politicians. But really you are mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, and all of you are someone's child. I am only a child, yet I know we are all part of a family 5 billion strong. In fact, 30 million species strong. And borders and governments will never change that. I am only a child, yet I know that we're all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal. In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid of telling the world how I feel. In my country, we make so much waste. We buy and throw away, buy and throw away, buy and throw away, and yet Northern countries will not share with the needy. Even when we have more than enough, we are afraid to share. We are afraid to let go of some of our wealth.

In Canada, we live the privileged life with plenty of food, water and shelter. We have watches, bicycles, computers and television sets. The list could go on for two days. Two days ago here in Brazil, we were shocked when we spent time with some children living on the streets. This is what one child told us, "I wish I was rich. And if I were, I would give all the street children food, clothes, medicines, shelter, and love and affection. If a child on the streets who has nothing is willing to share, why are we who have everything still so greedy? I can't stop thinking that these are children my own age; that it makes a tremendous difference where you are born; that I could be one of the children living in the favelas of Rio. I could be a child starving in Somalia, or a victim of war in the Middle East or a beggar in India. I am only a child, yet I know that if all the money spent on war was spent on finding environmental answers, ending poverty and finding treaties, what a wonderful place this Earth would be.

At school, even in kindergarten, you teach us how to behave in the world. You teach us to not fight with others. To work things out. To respect others. To clean up our mess. Not to hurt other creatures. To share, not be greedy. Then why do you go out and do the things you tell us not to do? Do not forget why you are attending these conferences - who you are doing this for. We are your own children. You are deciding what kind of world we are growing up in.

Parents should be able to comfort their children by saying "Everything's going to be all right. It's not the end of the world. And we're doing the best we can." But I don't think you can say that to us anymore. Are we even on your list of priorities? My dad always says "You are what you do, not what you say." Well, what you do makes me cry at night. You grown ups say you love us, but I challenge you, please make your actions reflect your words.

Thank you.

Chronicles of Childbirth

   A couple of hours after I wrote about my dream, there came another ordeal that scared me out of my mind. I brought myself to withstand another day at school, we had obstetrics and I was busy lamenting why as a dentist I had to take that course. Then our Lecturer came in and told us we had to watch a woman give birth, I was like ‘hmm that sounds great’. No it wasn’t. Yes, having a child is beautiful but the whole process wow…..Some good Eve did by eating that forbidden fruit!!! Birth is something people seem to fear. There is this pervasive notion out there that it's somehow disgusting and bloody and that everyone is in horrific pain. Well, that’s totally true at least I was in pain and I wasn’t even the one giving birth neither was I related to her. This is the chronicles of childbirth from my own very eyes 0_0

    We matched to the delivery rooms in our matching scrubs, masks and caps. There was no doubt that we were all eager to see something different other than the teeth. Usually we were more than three but today was different and two students had travelled home. When we got there we saw the woman sitting on a Flexible Yoga ball with her hand squeezed tight.

‘She is in Pain’ my colleague whispered to me. Obviously I thought to myself.

‘How on earth are we supposed to take the case history of a woman having labor pains?’ I asked my Colleagues. Just so you know that is the practical part of our class and we couldn’t afford to fail it or retake the class.

‘Cam-my, can you ask her the case history questions? You are the lady, she would respond more to you’ one of the guys in my group said. On a usual day I would smile at his wrong pronunciation of my name but I wasn’t just in the mood for that, It was enough that I had Dysmenorrhea and couldn’t think straight now he’s asking me to bell the cat with a woman in pain, just because I’m a woman too!!

Shaking my head I said ‘Do I look like I have an idea what labor pain feels like?’ After much grumblings we realized that we just couldn’t do it because the woman was sending us evil glances across the room. We pleaded with our Lecturer and got another patient for the case history, but she strictly told us we still had to  watch the delivery.

After we were done with our case history we went back to the delivery room to wait for the appointed time.  I watched a contraction came over her I could sense its intensity.  The woman  was almost unable to focus on breathing and relaxing , the contraction went away  after a few seconds and a minute later another extremely intense contraction happened only this one was accompanied by another "pop!" as well as water gushing out. She stood up groaning the Nurses came in and told her to lie down gently but she strongly resisted the Nurses pull. ‘How strong a woman can be when in labor? ‘I thought.

 The midwives started disassembling the maternity bed.  She finally lied down on her back and the baby's head was already presenting and she was moaning.  At first I thought the midwives at this point had become very insensitive and uncompassionate, the truth is they were doing their jobs.

She was ordered to "Be quiet!!"

'She could hear them just fine and didn't need to be yelled at' I thought again.

 Then the younger nurse yelled at her "I want you to pant! You have to pant! Just pant!!" but it was too late she was already bearing down by that point and was just unable to stop, her body had taken control and  she was just along for the ride! The older midwife was holding the baby’s head in so he didn't crown too fast and cause a tear. With the next contraction his head came out. She pushed again but the rest of his body didn't come out like it was supposed to so in the next push they pulled him out. It wasn't hard to see why he was stuck, he had massive shoulders!  Then she was giving an injection to pull out the placenta. After the whole ordeal, the placental too was delivered. It turned out she needed two stitches just in the entrance and probably from her baby boys shoulders having to be pulled.

‘This is going to be hard for her’ I murmured.  She was already screaming even before my thought was fully formed. 

  Soon it was all over. I watched how she carried her baby and suddenly she went from pain to joy. Hmm…what a world!

  After I had been stitched I went to the hallway, while standing there the younger midwife said “Я сподіваюся, що трапилося, не зруйнувати ваші пологи досвід” (I hope what happened didn't ruin your birthing experience). It was like she was reading my mind; I was now contemplating whether I really wanted to have children. My pain threshold is so low. I know how it feels when I have menstrual pain; it’s like burning in hot oil now the thought of going through childbirth is so scary. I kept asking myself if watching this delivery has tainted my birthing experience. I always thought contractions feel like menstrual cramps but instead they look exactly like this:

LABOR PAINS= MENSTRUAL CRAMPS X 100

Not to be sexist but common every Man needs to give thumbs up for every Mother who has passed through these painful times in their life.

MY IDEAL MAN CHECKLIST – ORIGINAL, REVISED ANND ASSUMED VERSIONS …

   When I was a teenager, I had this stringent list of what my ideal man should be: handsome, well-off, caring, understanding, God-fearing, intelligent – I could have gone on and on then about what qualities my partner should have. However, as I grew older, I realized that I could never really find a real person who met all these sterling qualities.
I began building my-ideal-man-list at age 20 and recently I made a revised version, while I was doing that I decided to make a sample list of what it would look like as my age increases.

“MY IDEAL MAN CHECKLIST”

WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ORIGINAL LIST (AGE 20):
1.       Handsome
2.        Charming
3.       Smart
4.       A caring listener
5.       Witty
6.       In good shape
7.       Dresses with style
8.       Appreciates fine things
9.       Full of thoughtful surprises
10.   An imaginative, romantic lover.


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, REVISED LIST (AGE 24):
1.Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Loves God
3. Has enough money to survive
4. Listens , but talks when I have little to say
5. Laughs at my silly jokes
6. Imaginative and has a goal in life
7. Looks good in anything he wears
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance more than once in a week.


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ASSUMED LIST(AGE 30):
1.       Nice looking(In a matured way)
2.       Loves God
3.       Not money driven but comfortable
4.       Balance between talking and listening
5.       Reminds me of a joke I once told
6.       Owns at least one tie or shirt
7.       Should be able to cook at least some eggs
8.       Goes on Vacations and trips with me
9.       Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
10.   Seeks romance at least once a week


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ASSUMED LIST (AGE 40):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Loves God
3. Splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of my silly jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows what to buy in a grocery shop
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Still wants to watch Movies with me


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ASSUMED LIST (AGE 50):
1. Keeps neat hair (Unless bald)
2. Loves God
3. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves his beard sometimes


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ASSUMED LIST (AGE 60):
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Remembers who God is
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.


WHAT I WANT IN A MAN, ASSUMED LIST (AGE 70):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet!

     As funny as this might be, it is true” as you grow older, your original list of ‘requirements’ for an ideal man are revised. Now, all I am looking for in an ideal man is one who can be both a best friend and a partner in life, and someone who will love me as unconditionally as I love him. And what about you? What’s your perfect checklist?