Alcoholic Ramblings Of A Non-Drinker


  I have the need to write this today, because for some strange reason I remember something that happened to me over a year ago on the bus.  A drunk man was not only hitting on me but almost put his disgusting mouth and breathe on my neck that I had to push him so hard he fell  to the floor of the bus. Get this, till this very moment I do not feel guilty about that. Why should I be the victim of your drunkenness? It’s just appalling.  

Alcohol really doesn’t interest me. It smells in a way I can’t understand. I can smell it from about forty centimeters away, sometimes further. I’m surprised more people don’t talk about that. It smells worse on the breath of overly drunk people if they are close to me and I fear people who drink too much(I guess we can call it Methustophobia, since Methustes is drunkard).  I’ve seen injury, I’ve had friends attacked, I’ve had friends permanently scarred because of this drug called “Alcohol” that they chose to make their ‘poison’.

I appreciate the artistry of wine labels, the marketing and names chosen, the history and the families who have devoted generations to creating a good product. Believe me I really do. I know that the process of creating decent alcohol is both a science and somewhat of an art. I’ve seen documentaries, but that’s where it ends for me.

I hate when people get drunk as hell. I don’t find it funny or endearing when someone goes overboard with alcohol then spends the night stumbling around, saying slurry things they normally wouldn’t, getting sick and not just acting like themselves. I can’t deal with a drunk, I’m not trying to get in the way of anyone’s fun or control their life, but I also don’t want to be with someone who makes me deal with the pain of seeing them wasted.

Over the years, I’ve been told two absurd things by people who drink too much:

Women are called uptight unless they drink:   Really. This appears to be a significant element that isn’t talked about much.  Women are supposedly no fun unless they are holding a glass of something. They’re not getting into the ‘spirit of the evening’, unless they’re imbibing – usually as much as possible of those high-octane fruit-colored attractive bottles, it seems. I’ve even been told that it’s downright anti-feminist to not be able to ‘match drinks with the boys’ or do a few drinking games, because apparently my status as a woman and being respected by other women, particularly if I am being promoted as a role-model for the next generation, might require excessive alcohol consumption, right? Absolutely not. As I said before, why am I suddenly the judge ‘who is better‘?

I’ve not developed a tolerance and I should work on it:  The word ‘tolerate’ appears to me to be a word used in conjunction with ‘suffering’. You have to ‘suffer this’. You have to go through the motions; you have to build up your resilience. This is a rite of passage for some undefined reason and getting as much alcohol into oneself as possible is part of some sort of journey towards something, towards what please? Towards the moment when someone has their head down the toilet or is missing an eyebrow or is being hefted off the couch and into a taxi and is calling a friend the next day to ask why there are photos online that they don’t remember being taken.  Okay, sure, that hasn’t been the experience that I’ve observed every time I’m in the company of people who drink alcohol. But I’ve seen it more than once and more than once was enough.

Drinking in moderation is okay-but getting excessively drunk is completely wrong, and if someone feels that they have to do it to escape their life, then I must say this is the first step to alcoholism. All I’m saying is that one cannot say that the reason they get drunk is to escape from their daily lives and be happy. You must have a better reason for getting drunk than that, and if not then maybe there really isn’t any reason you should be doing it. Why would you want to act like a complete fool to have fun? How embarrassing.

There is nothing more annoying to a sober person than a drunk. What irritates me more than getting drunk is ‘Denial’.  Which is even more common these days, you know that awkward moment when a drunk keeps insisting that he/she is not drunk. I know this is a very controversial issue and it always brings argument, but the point here is not whether alcohol is right or wrong. The point here is that, for me getting drunk falls on my wrong list. Getting drunk is more than a problem, it is a symptom.

I choose not to drink alcohol. It is not your problem (Harsh right? But true)  If you have a problem with it, maybe you should think about why, and if you choose to drink alcohol, it’s also not my problem but when your drunken state affects me then it becomes my problem.

Sigh…..I’m sorry if all this sounds whiny and all that, rough week I guess, but TGIF.

P.S. I really didn't edit this, so forgive my mistakes :)

Day 1: Facebook Rehab.

  Like I said earlier, I’m taking a 30 day break from Facebook. Going into a Facebook Rehab, of sorts….with all of the blessings and beauty and connection that Facebook provides, I have found for me that at this time in my life it has become a source of great procrastination, confusion and distraction from doing things that I fear, and yet things that I know I am supposed to do.  I deleted Facebook from my phone today.

  Anyway, it is already so hard. I already feel lonely, disconnected and afraid of being forgotten by people that I already love and people that I have grown to love so much. This is truly one of the bravest and scariest things I have ever done or will ever do, Cheesy right?  This is why I think it is so important that I do it. I should not be relying on the internet to determine my self-worth. It is time for me to face this head-on.  I know it’s the right decision and I feel victorious….but man, I am telling you, this is SO HARD. I'm not "leaving" Facebook forever; I’m just taking a break from it. It's consuming all of my free time.

Day 1 in Facebook rehab

  Hi, my name is ‘Kemi, and I’m a Facebook addict.

  I should have known better. The signs were there from the beginning, but I ignored them because I didn’t want to think I was the kind of person who had such a weak character. Officially, I don’t have an “addictive personality.” Or so I thought.

  I did allow myself to read the emails of postings and Inbox messages sent to my Yahoo mail account. Is that cheating or deal-making? I’m going to go with “no” on that one. After all, email is fair game.
Is that like saying I can drink beer but no alcohol? Well whatever, it’s just day 1 right? One day at a time. Friends were calling all day asking why I wasn’t on Facebook anymore that made it even more difficult.

  However my ruminations have led me to this succinct conclusion: Facebook is a cruel mistress indeed. (I am pretty sure I’m not the first one to say that. In fact, I’m almost positive I stole the phrase “Facebook is a cruel mistress” from one of my Friends. If it was you, please post a Comment on this page to garner the credit you so deserve. If nobody posts, then clearly I made it up myself.) Yes, as I so wittily and originally remarked, Facebook is a cruel mistress indeed. She takes and takes and takes until you find yourself huddled in a dark, cold room at an hour far past when all decent humans go to sleep with your eyeballs bleeding as you’re hunched over the computer with a self-inflicted case of osteoporosis, and you’re taking the “What Happy Days Character Are You?” quiz for the fourth time, hoping against hope that you don’t get Potsie again. 


Later at night…

  The whole house is quiet, tucked away in my bed I had that itchy fingers and I had them badly. Thinking “I wonder who is online right now. I wonder if someone wants to chat with me. Sometimes my sound alert doesn’t work on the Chat, so maybe someone is on there right now saying “You there? I see you online. Where are you? Why aren’t you answering me? Are you mad at me, ‘Kemi? How dare you! I hate you, and I’m de-Friending you right this second if you don’t answer me. Stuffs like that. Well but in the long run, maybe no one is missing me.

  Day 1 went well, stay tuned tomorrow for Day 2 in Facebook Rehab.

  I love you all………I really do.