The Rambler's Chronicles:Single Till Married


Folks ask me all the time, “what are you going to do when you start dating someone,will you still say I’m single ?”

My response: “Yes!”

“But you won’t be single” they say.

“Yes I will be. You are single until you are married.”

Very few people understand what I mean by this. I’ve said it a thousand times before. Dating is an interview process. Marriage is the real commitment.

Women tend to treat a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship like a marriage and then get hurt when he decides she isn’t the one and to keep looking. Actually, women get defensive, indigent, insulted. Men take a more wait and see approach.

My aunt always told me the best time to find a man is when you have one. “ you got a boyfriend. That’s nice. Keep looking to see if he is Mr right.”

“But auntie, he’s really sweet and fun.”

“Ok, well he can be sweet and fun but he also could be the man that will lead you to your real husband.”
I’m still testing her theory out.

I have a friend who knows a friend- who if judging by the way she treats her relationships has been married and divorced 3 times at the age of 29. Her first “marriage” was to her college sweetheart. She made him dinner on her hot plate. Washed his laundry when he was cramming for finals. Borrowed her dad’s car to help move her bf across the city for his internship and back again. He was headed to Grad School when he decided that it was best he focus his attention to his studies. He thanked her for being a good girlfriend. It lasted 4 years.

“Husband” #2 was from age 23-26. He was a cop, just bought a house and always talked about having kids. She was sure they would really be married one day. Basically she spent 6 out of 7 days at his place and helped him decorate. Started playing house, there was no time for friends unless he was busy and she was clueless when it came to having male friends. The only man, of any kind, in her life was the cop. She caught him cheating on her one night at his house when he told her he was out of town for the weekend.

Her last “marriage” was a quick one. He was a co-worker who liked her. She was so bitter from the failed marriages that she didn’t take him seriously. After a year of playing him, she finally smartened up but it was too late. He strung her along like she had done him.  Two years later she realized she was left empty yet again.

The trouble with my friends friend “the bride” is she treated each boyfriend like a husband when not every man you date is husband material. Same goes for men who treat all women like queens when really some of them are scandalous tricks.

I love to hear women go on and on about “We are in a committed relationship,” when they speak of their boyfriend and how seriously they work at it. That’s all good and well but the real commitment is when you say “I do”. So until I have an engagement ring on my finger…I am single!