MY OPEN LETTER TO THE INVENTOR OF AMALA


I would like to start this letter by saying you owe me an apology.  I speak not only for myself but also for the millions of Nigerians or perhaps Africans whose life you made miserable by inventing this little black torture called Amala. Not to sound ungrateful or come off as offensive but there is nothing good about this little invention of yours, not the color , not the taste, not even the smell but at least I must commend the fact that you are one step ahead of the inventor of FUFU(It could win a Grammy for the worst smelling food).

Many would disagree with my letter to you, but you have to understand that everyone has their point of view and this is mine- Amala should be a kind of punishment! It was for megrowing up! Apart from my nuclear family and few friends who understood and respected the fact that I could not stand the site of this food, all others have seen it as a means of sentencing me to a long hour of mean and painful torture. They would watch to make sure I finished two wraps of Amala along with the Egusi soup served with it! They called it training, I termed it abuse! To me it felt like bee sting on an open wound, but who was I to say no. Saying no means being subjected to five minutes of koboko (whip) - Every child’s worst nightmare!

Permit me to point out that the only thing worse than eating Amala is eating it with Egusi soup, I can almost feel the taste in my mouth right now and it definitely feels like ‘feet’.  Why do I write all this, you may ask? Well, It’s because adulthood has managed to free me from being subjected to a daily dose of your invention but there are still those days when I am forced to download a little bit of it into my system- either due to the fact that I visit someone who doesn’t know my choice of meal or someone trying to surprise me with a good home cooked meal! I just can’t put all their effort to waste, can I? So I would rather eat it and pour out my anger on you, through this letter.
This unstructured letter is not to undermine your work, but it’s a way of ranting out the little feel of the Amala left in my mouth. That is what I do, I rant! I could write a poetic note to you, perhaps it would be less rude, but also it might hide my feelings beneath those metaphors. So till I find another reason to write you again, I would say bye for now and hoping to receive a long overdue apology soon!
                                                                                                                       Yours Faithfully,
                                          ​Dentdocdekky