Random thoughts: What death taught me about Life

It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ― Rose Kennedy

Forty-five minutes into the film Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, I can't breathe well enough to adequately fill my lungs. Tears drip down my upper lip into my mouth, and sadness cripples my voice. I feel the way I felt last September. This past September, I wrote the hardest piece I have ever had to write. It was my Mother’s eulogy.  She was one of the dearest people to my heart.  Death is never an easy thing to handle, especially for someone as sentimental as me and as a person who loves HARD. I've learned that no matter how much you try to prepare yourself for the death of a loved one you are never truly prepared.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”  ~~Anne Lamott

You should never miss a chance to tell people that you love them. They can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Don't wait until you are standing at the foot of their grave to honor them. Pick up the phone today and call them, just to say, "I love you."

Know who your good friends are and work hard at maintaining those friendships. It's true what they say, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" Over the past year I've learned that when the going gets tough, some of your so called friends are the ones who get going. They turn their back and walk away. What happened to being there for someone in good times and bad? I thank God for the gift of wonderful friends. 

I've learned that The Wizard of Oz has a bit of truth to it. When you're lost and trying to find your way back to a familiar place, life can be quite strange and difficult. However, you learn things and meet people along the way. Though your road is hard to travel you must never give up. It is important to have your brain, your heart, and your courage along with faith to make it through this life.

Two models of relationships: Having a God Centered Relationship

While looking around I came to understand that every relationship we build is centered around something. We live in an era where Hollywood has painted a perfect picture of marriage and relationships and many today dwell on this illusion.

I do know this.. The man I marry will believe in God more than he believes in anything else, including me. he’ll love God more and he’ll believe in His ability to heal, transform, restore and perform miracles. I know that and I know he’ll recognize that as I chase after God, I’m chasing after him.

I have been thinking about the two relationships I've had in the past.  See I've been doing this thing so terribly wrong.  First, although I dated Christian men, I think I've allowed the exercising of that faith to be a far too individual act.  We may have occasionally gone to church together but that’s not enough. In building a solid relationship God needs to be at the very center.  In the future I’d like to pray with the person I’m with and make an effort to keep God thoroughly ingrained in the very fabric of the relationship.

Often we try hard to win or impress people with who we are that we at times forget our purpose here on earth and that’s to wholly and fully serve God.  Well in the future in a relationship I will love God with all my heart and all my mind and I will not LEAN ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING but always acknowledge him.

Now let’s take a look at the two model of relationship as seen today

Hollywood's model of relationship:

1) Find a "suitable" person;
2) fall in love with the person;
3) build all your dreams, hopes and aspirations around the person;
4) If it fails, then repeat items 1-3.

To me this is a selfish model of relationship, which offers us the modern world. When selecting a partner we have this idea that we are to look for a rich, beautiful, intelligent and obedient person who will always do and be everywhere we please. Then we try to somehow fall in love with this person and ascribe to them all our dreams... This sooner or later leads to disappointment because our motive was not sincere. Ultimately these relationships break up because we always want to be on the receiving side, but the truth is Love ought to be Mutual.

God's model of the relationship:

1) Become a "suitable” Person;
2) To live in love;
3) Trust in God and try to "please" him in our relationship.
4) If relationships break down - repeat items 1-3.

God's model is somewhat contrary to what the world offers us. According to it, we must first become this most "suitable" person, in the deepest sense of the word it means to follow Christ and be transformed by him.  If you want a good wife in future, you must do your best to be a good husband and it needs to start now, in other for it to work in all possible ways. We need to take care of our spiritual, moral and physical growth. Yes, some of us have put a lot of effort into that and we need to remember that we are laying the foundation for our future happiness.

The next step in God's relationship models is to live in love. And we should understand that love - is not only that pleasant feelings that we feel towards another person. Speaking kind words, gentle embrace, walking holding hands together – doesn't always mean love! Love - is giving a person what they need the most, when they least expect it. Just like Jesus coming down to lay his life so we might be saved.
The third step in God's relationship model is trusting in the Lord and building our relationship around his word and commandments. Remember that God’s commandments are not to restrict but rather to correct us.

Be sure to build a God Centered Relationship! 

Psalm 37:4