Structured Ramblings Of a Dentdoc: Liberation

1.       The act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression; release.
"the liberation of all political prisoners"
freeing, release, discharge, deliverance, salvation, rescue, relief,extrication, setting free; 
2.       Freedom from limits on thought or behavior.

So lately God has been teaching me a lot about Liberation and I think it’s selfish not to share with someone out there because everything that happens in our life is always a lesson or testimony to us and those around us.

Ok, moving on…for the past one week I have been feeling worthless and alone , you know I get this lonely episodes and thoughts run through my mind on how or why I don’t deserve somethings or some people. The good thing is that God keeps telling me audibly every day that I am not junk neither am I worthless and the voice of truth keeps reminding me of how much My Father in heaven loves me. The truth is that it was never about my Love for Him but His for me. He made the first attempt at creating a relationship with me….For he so loved me that he gave his only begotten son for me….oh wait not just for me but for the whole world. How awesome is that right? Very Liberating!!

Until a few weeks ago the word liberation to me was just another word that reminded me of slavery and the likes of Mandela and Martin Luther King, obviously I needed a reminder on who the author of Liberation is- Jesus  Christ himself.  ‘Whosoever the son sets free is truly free indeed’- You see many Christians today have been liberated yet they wear the robes of a slave simply because they don’t know how to let go of the shackles of what bounded them initially. The great thing about our liberation in Christ is that it is Instant, thorough, limitless and with no condition. Liberation from pain, sorrow, struggles, death and so much more.  How relieving is that?

So a few days ago I went to God in Prayer and I was like oh God, I need liberation from ‘My state of loneliness’ and I spent minutes upon minutes praying and ripping my heart out to God and he simply said to me why do you waste so much time focusing and praying about what you have? And I was like Father then why do I still feel the way I feel? And I got the most comforting reply from God- “It’s simply because you need to accept that there is that place in your heart that no man can fill, except me”. It was at this moment I understood what it meant, that God is and will forever be enough for you. That the emptiness I feel was not because I didn’t have enough friends, husband or children, but because I haven’t had enough of God yet!! It was at this point I realized that the only Liberation I needed was from my self-condemnation and the feeling of not being good enough!

The presence of God is so real, the more we draw near to him, the more he draws near to us and when the light of the knowledge of his glory is embedded in our heart we will never want or thirst for anything lesser than this. God has written the story of our lives but how much of it have we read and do we know? What God has in stuck for you and I is more than a best seller, it is simply a priceless gift from a loving father to his special children! For me this itself is Liberation.

Akure Chronicles part 4: An open note to my Alphabet friends.

Funny how our lives can be changed by so many things and so many people, a lot of people say life isn't complete without friendships. That you can't get through life's toughest challenges without the support of friends by your side. In the past nine months of staying in this city I have discovered for myself how true those sayings really are. I met them recently. Name, age, gender, all irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that God put this people in my life for a reason. Here is to my Alphabet friends that has made this journey worthwhile so far:
A: You are that friend who came into my life when I was praying for a mentor, of sorts.  Someone who challenges me to be the best woman I can be….. and then be better. Someone who speaks truth into my life, even when you  know it’s hard for me to hear.  Someone who holds me accountable to the life I’ve chosen to live.  Someone who shares my love of jokes and sarcasm. You are invaluable to me and I am so grateful to and for you.

B: You have taught me more compassion. More patience. More tolerance. More empathy. More gratitude. More understanding of accepting who and what others are.

C: When I least expected it, you came into my life and helped me open my eyes to things I knew I needed to change and also reminded me of things that make me happy. I'd forgotten who I am because I've been so busy trying to make others happy.

D: Life works in strange and mysterious ways. But not often do we find that someone has so many of the same interests we have. Or who knows what we need before we even say it.  It may be fate or by chance. If you ever find yourself in a dark place, unsure of how you are going to deal with things, always know you have a friend in me, coz in you I found a loyal and understanding friend.

E:  No matter when I came to you, or for what reason I came, you are always ready with open ears and an open heart. You listened and cared. You helped me become a kinder and stronger person, and for that I’ll always be grateful. Your kind-heartedness inspires me to this day, and I can only hope to one day be able to change someone the way you changed me.

F: You taught me to be able to laugh at myself and to just live life in the moment. We’re there for each other in times of happiness. I learned to be open-minded and to never close myself off to anything. You affected my life one way or the other.

G: You are without a doubt, the hardest working person I know. No matter what task you are working on, you put 110 percent into it. Seeing your amazing work ethic has inspired me to be the driven person I am today, and seeing you work has helped me realize that with hard work, anything is possible.

H: Even though we fight like crazy and say we hate each other 99 percent of the time, I’m incredibly inspired by you. You worked so hard to get where you are today, and you surpassed the expectations that so many people had set for you. You have, and will always be one of the people who’ve made the biggest impact on my life.

I: You taught me how important it is to always follow my heart, find what makes me happy, and go for it at full speed. I can only hope one day that I find it in myself to be as strong and as kind as you are.

J: This person has loved me selflessly, unconditionally. Regardless of my somewhat fickle nature. You are just happy. Whenever, wherever, with whomever. I can't say I've met- well anyone really- that lives in the present moment. With you, friendship comes easy.

In the past few months I’ve been Changed, Saved, And Blessed.

I've met my share of great people. These people make me feel generally great. We've had many beautiful days, and we'll hopefully have many more. Thank you. I will always truly appreciate and cherish you guys.

Your Friend,

Day 19:30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Tough Questions on Modesty

Listen in as Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Holly Elliff, and her daughter Bethany respond to women’s questions on modesty.

• Develop the ability to converse about everything with your kids. It may wear you out, but it keeps communication open as they enter their teen years.
• Ask your husband what he really enjoys you wearing, and then find appropriate times to wear what he likes.
• You’re responsible to live up to the truth that you know and to pray that God will teach others those same truths. If God brings you into relationship with someone, then you may have the privilege of being one of the people that helps share truth with them.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Day 18: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge,

More Than a List

We send our kids to school. We give them piano lessons. We put them on sports teams. But who’s teaching them about modesty?

• There are formal, structured times to teach your children the ways of God, but more is taught in the course of everyday life using teachable moments and opportunities.
• Ask your children questions so they can discover truth themselves. Then they will have ownership of it and it will be much more valuable.
• If your children’s hearts are to please the Lord and to make choices that are based on the Word of God, then they won’t just conform to a list that you’ve come up with but will become difference-makers in their culture and in their generation.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on….

If you could cheat on your spouse and know that you would not be caught, would you do it?  This was one of the questions that I heard in a commercial for a new television show.  I don’t remember the name of the show however.  A friend of mine had told me about this show previously.  Evidently they connect you to a lie detector while they ask you these questions.  It is just another silly television show.  However, what caught my attention is the context of the question.  It assumes that the only reason that we would have not cheated on our spouses is because we think we may be caught.

It is not laws that keep people from doing one thing or another for the most part.  It is what’s inside of the person that determines what he or she will or will not do.  If a person is honest then he will tend to do things honestly.  If a person is dishonest then he will tend to do things dishonestly regardless of the laws.  This is why people fight for what is right.  It is simply in them to do that.  For example, the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. could have been much better and perhaps much longer if he hadn’t gone on his civil rights campaign.  He knew it was risky, but he continued on the path.  It was in him.  It was who he was on the inside that caused him to do the things that he did.

Applying Godly discipline to our lives may sound unpopular in this laissez faire age we live in….. but it matters. Applying discipline has to start with the mind for the very obvious reason that the things we do are determined by the things we think.

Therefore, it appears that the real issue to effect change on the earth is not necessarily laws and such.  There must be a change of the inner person.  There has to be a change of the heart.  How do we do this?  How can we change who we are on the inside? 

First of all there has to be a desire to want to change.  A person is not going to change from dishonest to honest if there is no desire to do so.  What could make a person want to change?  Many things may do it.  For example, we may desire to change our eating habits because of health concerns.  With regards to Christianity, a person desires to change because he has seen his plight and realizes that he can do nothing about it.  We desire to get on the narrow way because we realize that the other path will lead us to destruction.  Even there, Jesus said that we have to be looking for it.

Our number one priority is God not the world.  So many professed Christians are seeking the things that the world has to offer at the expense of a relationship with the Lord.  We are taught to seek the new home, luxury car, money, jewelry, etc., but not the Lord.  There is something wrong indeed.

Trust God and live righteously.

Day 17: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Modeling Modesty

Training your children about modesty at age thirteen is too late. How about at age three? Learn why modeling modesty for young children is vital.
• Make sure that the kind of entertainment you enjoy fits what you say you believe.
• It is inconsistent for parents who profess to believe the gospel to let their kids watch sexually explicit movies that promote unbiblical philosophies.
• Modesty should be a way of life.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.

Moving on....
Click here to read more on modesty.

Day 16: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Training Our Daughters

Learn how to train the next generation of women to have modest hearts as they grow up in an increasingly permissive world.

• Modesty is, first and foremost, a heart issue. Don’t expect this world to teach your children how to be modest in heart, behavior, and dress. That’s your job as a parent.
• One of the killers of the faith of Christian young people is that they do not see that their parents’ faith has joy in it. Your kids will most likely reject your religion if it is a joyless religion.
• Make sure you are setting an example of loving and obeying God. When you fail, be humble enough to say, “I was wrong. Would you please forgive me?”

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on……

The next generation of young women desperately need to know the Word and see it lived out by real women striving to honor God and obey the Truth.  They need to experience relationships in which the Scriptures are applied with humility, grace, and determination.   They need transparent answers to their toughest questions, even if those answers are a bit messy and raw. 

Psalm 78:1-7 challenges one generation to make known to the “coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders he has done.” In this way we bring Christ to distant generations as well, “that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God.”

This is a generational stewardship, given to us by God. When we disciple women, their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren stand to receive the blessings of our efforts. Our lives matter and will matter for a long time. A glacier seems to be accomplishing little at the moment but it leaves behind a Grand Canyon. Be willing to be part of a glacier. We want to leave behind generations of women who “set their hope in God.”

The first step in discipleship is to be a disciple yourself. “Disciple” is not just a verb, it is also a noun. You are, first, a disciple of Jesus. Discipleship involves “Be who I am” more than “Do what I tell you.” Who you are will make an impact.

I am deeply indebted to two women who have made a costly investment in me. Much of what I am passing on to women today is what I have learned from them. In whom do you see spiritual life and the radiant beauty of Jesus Christ spilling over into different aspects of her life? Whom do you want to imitate ? Ask her out for lunch and tell her your heart’s desire. See if she is willing. The first woman I asked said she just couldn’t do it. That is okay— keep trying. Discipleship means taking relational risks.

Discipleship isn’t about professional Christians passing on their best practices to amateur Christians. Being a disciple, and learning to disciple others, means looking at Jesus with such intensity and delight that you actually begin to reflect his beauty in everyday life. As you grow in grace, Jesus becomes more precious, more satisfying, more exciting than anything else. And as you behold him, others will want to join you and you can begin looking to him together. The most important way you can disciple others is by enjoying Christ yourself in such an irresistible way that your enjoyment becomes contagious.

Love those you’re discipling as Jesus loves you. Remember, it is not our mission to show others how sinful they are, but how beautiful Jesus is! So link arms as you walk together in your common need for Jesus.

Day 15: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Reflecting God’s Glory

Your outward appearance can reveal the inward desires of your heart. Do you want to glorify yourself or reflect God’s glory?

• Your physical appearance gives an impression of God to people who can’t see Him.
• When you buy clothing, check your motives. Are you trying to draw attention to yourself? Are you putting people in a position where you may set them up to sin by being seductive or distracting?
• When you extend yourself, your heart, and your hands in good works, you’re adorning the gospel and making Jesus believable.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on....

When we view a man who is submitted to God and honors him willingly through obedience, his loving devotion and submission brings glory to God, and in turn, honors the Man. Through that man we see the reflection of God's love and his sovereign place over the universe. The man shows us God's sovereign and loving nature. I believe a major part of God's glory, even above his unlimited power, is his love for his creation and his sovereign authority over the universe.

I am amazed by the fact that God allows us to serve Him willingly without force. That He respects us enough to give us a choice. This too shows us the glory of His loving nature. Part of God's glory is the sovereignty of His free will. When a man willingly surrenders his free will back to God he is acknowledging God's glory. His Authority, His sovereignty over mankind. This in turn brings glory to both God and the man. In the same way, when you see a woman lovingly submitted to her husband. It brings the husband glory, in turn, bringing glory to herself. This is what Paul is speaking to in 1 Cor 11:7-12. Humanity's glory, from God's perspective, is their willingness to surrender their free will to Him and serve Him joyfully. There by allowing God's glory to be Humanity's glory.

God is so determined to have a race of humans who reflect the brilliance of his glory that he is even willing to sacrifice his own Son to fix his cat’s eyes and lead a watching world to his door. One day, when Jesus returns and we see him face to face, “we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is,” but until that day God makes a wonderful promise to anyone who believes in him as Saviour. Even in this life, he promises to change them so that they “reflect the Lord’s glory … being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory.

Here is the point I want to really drive home. Our glory does not originate from us. We have no glory at all aside from Christ Jesus. God's glory is not ours to own, but to reflect. Think of a light in the mirror. We are the mirror, God is the light we reflect His glory. The truth is, without God, our glory shines about as bright as a solar powered flashlight.

As in all things, we must not look to glorify ourselves.

Day 14: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge


Purity and self-control help you make wise choices, even in tempting situations.

• God calls you to exercise self-control over your sexual passions, your demeanor, your dress and attitudes, and your way of dealing with men.
• If you have self-control, you’ll find there are a lot of situations you’ll never end up in because you made wise, restrained choices on the front end.
• The greatest freedom in life comes when you’re under the control of the Holy Spirit. That’s when you can really enjoy life and healthy relationships in the Body of Christ.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on…..

A woman who does not have the ability to understand and fulfill her proper role according to God's standards is one who does not have control over her spirit. She has not allowed God to be in authority over her and has instead become her own boss, and everyone else's. But what she has done is destroyed the very purpose that God created her for; to be a helper suitable.

By taking charge, she has made herself into that broken down city. And without the walls of both submission and self-control, she has made herself a target for Satan. Her life becomes a landing pad for things like deception, frustration, temper tantrums, dissatisfaction, distrust, and more. These kinds of women are trouble magnets, subject to every whim of the enemy.

In contrast, the kind of control that God created Christian women to have, the kind that brings positive peace and proper perspective, is self-control. This means that she has the mental ability to discern the right kind of behavior in any given situation, and the ability to carry out that behavior.

 Martha was extremely stressed that she had been left to serve alone, while her sister, Mary, sat at Jesus' feet and listened to His teachings. Out of exasperation, Martha demanded that Jesus send Mary in to help her. But Jesus' response implied that Mary had chosen the more appropriate response to Him. Mary was allowing the words of Jesus to build walls around her city. Those who choose to follow Mary's example understand that being in control of everything on the outside is not what's important. A woman who is able to maintain control over the inside, spiritually, emotionally and mentally, is a woman who will enjoy the freedom that comes when Christ rules over her life.

The answer to keeping God’s power with me and working in me to produce self-control is letting His Word get inside me

Have you ever been in a discussion with a loved one when something snarky gets said and suddenly your blood pressure skyrockets, your nerves fray, and the worst version of you begs to come out?

Not that this ehhhhhver happens to me, of course. Ahem. Of course, it happens to me. I live with other humans.

Whenever any kind of relationship conflict arises, my choice is whether to give the other person power to control my emotions.

When I react by yelling or flying off the handle or making a snappy comeback, I basically transfer my power to the other person. When I am void of power, I am void of self-control. So, it seems to me, if I'm going to remain self-controlled, I have to keep my power.

Now, when I say "my power," I don't mean something I conjure up myself. I am referring to God's power working in me. When I react according to God's Word, I feel that power. When I react contrary to God's Word, I feel powerless.

So, all that to say, here's my new tactic: When I'm facing a situation where someone is getting on the last good nerve I have, I'm going to start quoting God's Word in the present tense. 

For example, if one of my sweet friend starts acting not so sweet, I might say aloud (or silently reply, depending on the situation) words based on 1 Peter 5:6-8:

In this moment I'm choosing to be self-controlled and alert. Your actions are begging me to yell and lose control. I do have an enemy, but that enemy is not you. The devil is prowling and roaring and looking to devour me through my own lack of control right now. But I am God's girl. That's right, I am. I am going to humbly and quietly let God have His way in me right now. And when I do this, God will lift me and my frayed nerves up from this situation and fill me with a much better reaction than what I can give you right now. So, give me just a few minutes and then we'll calmly talk about this.

Girl, that's some power right there.

I love being God's girl. Don't you?

Day 13:30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

A Woman’s Great Loveliness

What comes to mind when you hear the word modesty?

• To be modest is to:

o know how to be appropriately embarrassed.
o be discreet.
o be reserved.
o see yourself as you really are.
o be ashamed if your attitudes or dress were ever to cause dishonor to Christ.

• To be immodest is to:
o be showy.
o talk too much.
o be arrogant.
o be aggressive, controlling, or domineering.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on…

Modesty is a controversial topic, especially when you throw God into the mix. For some, they simply cannot fathom, amidst all the great injustices in the world that God actually cares if a girl wears skin-tight pants with the word “Juicy” written on them. But in the end, it is the Word of God that should drive our discussions about modesty. What has God revealed about it? First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart. Modesty is primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment, having an awareness of others and our environment.

Paul on Modesty: 1 Timothy 2:8-10

“I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.“

Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does. This text is a primary example.

What Modesty is and what it is not:

1.       Modesty is not anti-pretty: “women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. The question for Paul isn’t about whether a woman should ornament her body, but how.

2.       Modesty is about who you worship: Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting for worship. When you go to church, go dressed in a way that shows you desire to the attention to be on God, not yourself.

3.       Modesty is about behavior and attitude, not just clothing: Women should seek to dress their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love. This means modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others.

4.       Modesty shows sensitivity to sin: No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him. Let him account for his sins. But she is guilty of a lack of shamefacedness, for treating sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow man.

5.       Modesty is about true freedom, not repression: More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true.

Modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God.  

Day 12: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Affirming Our Faith

You don’t leave the house with your clothes on inside out, but when it comes to modesty, that’s what you need to do. First, work on the inside—on your heart—then let that be reflected on the outside.

• Your appearance, actions, and attitudes will never make you a Christian. But if you are a Christian, you absolutely will have an appearance, attitudes, and actions that confirm your profession of faith.
• We are not to be in any way that is unbecoming of us as believers—not in disarray, not as exhibitionists, not extreme.
• We need be filled with the Spirit and grounded in the Word of God so that our hearts, emotions, and minds will be well-ordered; then it will be reflected in our outward appearances.
This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.

Moving on…

Words of affirmation and touch are my love languages so when someone says something to me affirming it means a lot. When a friend says something encouraging to me, I hear them speaking to my soul saying, "I think you're important and valuable like God says you are." I feel loved. My mom was one of the greatest affirmers with words I know. Because of her example saying kind things comes naturally to me which just recently I realized was something that doesn't come naturally to everyone. I had a friend mention she has a hard time knowing how to compliment others. And  that got me thinking.

Affirming people communicates respect and disarms the question, "Do they like me?" And I'm not sure if you've noticed but when people are comfortable around you, they open up and are more open to receiving what you have to say. Honest affirmation can be compared to preparing the ground to receive the seed of God's Word.

We must learn to affirm our faith in the face of doubt with thoughts that things will work out, things will improve.  We ought to think, write, and say affirmations.  Faith is closely related to trust; it involves a trust that reaches beyond the immediate and every day. To disregard faith in any aspect of life is to ignore an aspect of life that has been significant for most of humanity through the ages and remains so till today. For a Christian, faith is about assurance, confidence, and trust. It is a growing trust in God that is based on evidence of God’s character and experience of. Faith in Christ is a means by which people come into a close relationship with God.

The God kind of faith "calls things that are not as though they were". God's example is Abraham, to whom He said, "I have already made you a father of a great multitude". Abraham was 99 and Sarah was past the age of child-bearing, but God called "things that are not as though they were". The operation of faith that makes the Christian life productive is based on that one principle: calling "things that are not as though they were". The Living Bible says that God "speaks of future events with as much certainty as though they were already past". That is how we must operate our faith in God. That is how we will shape our future. 

 Faith is always a leap into the dark in some respects. If you are on the end of a limb and do not know where to go next, faith is taking that next step. Do you realize that when you take even one step in walking that you put the whole body off balance? You will never go anywhere unless you take a step of faith. It was faith this morning for you to swing your legs out of bed and touch the floor. You had to believe that the law of gravity would keep you in the right position. Everything you do in life is an application of the principle of faith, and in the spiritual life the object of faith is God; it is faith in the God Who calls "things that are not as though they were".

Make a quality commitment today to call "things that are not as though they were". God has not only planned the very best for your life, He has provided the very best for your life. Yet the provision is in a spiritual form, and you need it in a material form. The only way to bridge that gap is to affirm your faith and call things that are not in the material as though they were, and they will be. That was Abraham's first step of faith. 

Day 11: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Women in the Church

Women can be either a great blessing in the church, or they can do incredibly great damage. They can make the gospel believable, or they can cause people to turn awayfrom Christ.
• The first item Paul brings up on his agenda for women in the church is their appearance.
• The way you dress is a reflection of your heart and character. Right attitudes will produce a right appearance.
• You can’t separate the inward from the outward. This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Attractive Christian Woman.”

Moving on…..

We need to be clear about one thing before moving forward. The value of men and the value of women are perfectly equal in the eyes of God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28, emphasis added). The spiritual standing of every human being, regardless of nationality, class, or gender, is the same. The ground at the foot of the cross is level—women matter as much as men. This is abundantly clear from the life and ministry of Jesus and the apostles. 

Yet the fact that men and women have equal rights and access to salvation does not negate the need for submission to leadership in the home or the church. Indeed, Jesus and the Father are equal, yet Jesus submits to the authority of the Father. “The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”

It is true that for far too long, men have misunderstood the proper role of women in the church, often treating them as second-class Christians. Because of this, many gifted women have been left without an arena in which to use their gifts. Perhaps this is why many Christian women reacted to their unfair status by following the “prevailing winds” of the world, ultimately desiring things that God forbids.

The fact is that the pendulum of the role of women in the church has swung too far in both directions. But where humans have failed, God promises victory, peace, and restoration. That’s why both sides in this debate need to seek wisdom and guidance from God’s Word in order to grow in the unity of the faith. 

Let’s not dive into a controversial but eye-opening passage that deals with women in a church setting, but rather  let us ask ourselves this- What then is the role of women in Christ’s church? The Bible is very clear that women ought to leap into ministry with both feet! Indeed, one of the greatest weaknesses in the church is the lack of women’s ministries truly focused on Christ and growth in the Word.

Plus, throughout the Bible, women are shown as equal in the nature of their ministry. Several examples include Deborah, who was a judge of Israel; Priscilla, who was active in evangelism and Pheobe, who was a deaconess.

The body of Christ requires a balance of male and female leadership to remain whole and healthy. To allow one half of the body to atrophy while the other carries the weight (whether it’s men or women doing the heavy lifting) results in a lopsided image of the Church that is frightful to behold.

Day 10: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

The Fruit of Her Hands

Do you want to become a woman of virtue? Your future will be affected in many ways by the choices you make today.

• One trap we can fall into is thinking, I’m going to be like that woman if it kills me. We begin to perform, strive, and struggle, saying, “I want to be a good Christian. I want to be a godly woman.” You’ll get exhausted in the effort, and you’ll wear other people out too.
• The realization that you cannot do what God has called you to do by yourself is one of the greatest discoveries you’ll ever make. It’s the starting place to victory.
This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.

Moving on.....

I like to think of myself as “highly effective.” But when I dare to look at some things I do I change my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I’m effective at some things…eating, sleeping, sitting, and how about playing …oh, sorry everyone, I’m supposed to be writing a serious article here. We are gonna have to save the rest of my highly effective activities for another time.

The practice of the spiritual disciplines is a little like planting a seed. You plant a tiny seed in the dirt and you wait…water…wait… water. (I know that there is a little more to it than that, but you get the picture). It takes time. The plant only grows after consistent, faithful tending to the seed. 

I met with the Lord this morning. I’m looking pretty much the same as I did yesterday, no wonder no one has told me that I look more holy than the day before. But the truth is as I read the Word and prayed this morning, I was watering. Lord willing, I will wake up tomorrow morning and do the same thing. Morning after morning of watering and waiting, and I will eventually see a little green thing sticking up out of the dirt. Growth! More watering, more waiting — more growth! 

The fruitful woman doesn't rely on her own strength, abilities, or nature for the growth of fruit. She isn't stuck within the confines of her personality, unable to break free to the fruitfulness of more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faith, goodness, and self-control. If you lack any of those, as I do, then thank God that He doesn't leave it all up to us. The fruit of the Spirit is the manifestation of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The prescription for a more fruitful life is abiding in Christ.  As Jesus explains in John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me."

The big question is, Can you truly bear fruit if you aren't abiding? I know many nonbelievers who love, who are kind, gentle, patient, and joyful. They love their families, they help their friends, and they serve the world, sometimes better than believers — but only because it feels good. Their fruit grows because of the payoff they receive. A woman might love a man because of how he makes her feel. People might give because of how it relieves their guilt. People do things, when it doesn't come from the Spirit, primarily because of the pleasure they receive. Deep down, even those who seem selfless and good can simply be serving themselves. And though these good things can be beneficial and kind, it isn't evidence of the life of the Spirit or His fruit because the ultimate goal is glorifying self and not God.

We must understand that when we aren't abiding in Christ, any fruit worth producing isn't sustainable. When hard times hit, the fruit produced by sheer brute strength falters because it isn't the produce of the Spirit but the flesh attempting to please itself.

We want more fruit of the Spirit, but we can't seem to find it. So let's examine the purpose of the fruit of the Spirit. Have you considered the idea of the tree? It doesn't grow fruit for itself but to give it to those who would take it from its branches. Fruit doesn't satisfy the tree from which it grows; it's meant to give glory to the Gardener and to benefit those who have need of its fruit. So it is with our fruit, which is meant for being beneficial. We can't consider the purpose of the fruit of the Spirit to be our happiness but the glory of God and the hope, faith, and life of others. Our fruit is meant to serve the hungry and to prove the goodness of the Spirit from which it comes to those who would partake of it. The ultimate goal is to serve the Gardener by feeding those who have access to its fruit.

So the fruit of the Spirit isn't about pleasure or pleasing self at all but about denying self and giving all to the glory to God. It's about needing nothing for ourselves from the fruit we produce. It's truly unconditional, meant to serve the will of God. This fruit comes not from the goodness of our hearts but from the goodness of the Spirit of God, who lives in our hearts. By abiding in Christ and desiring to respond to the Spirit's promptings rather than to our flesh, we set our minds on the things of the Spirit rather than the things of the flesh. When that happens, our fruit begins to flourish.

I can tell you from experience that what I lacked as a woman in the area of fruitfulness wasn't due to God's lacking but to my misunderstanding of His power and nature and my inability to be mindful of remaining in Christ in my everyday thoughts and actions. I react from my emotional center, a place that not only makes the most sense to me but also speaks highly of me and seems to have my best interests at heart.

I've given lip service to Christ almost daily yet based my decisions on myself. But I've found great relief from much of my self by learning to abide through understanding the fruit that comes from abiding. It's my prayer that you also, through learning to abide and experiencing a deeper spiritual awakening  will find your life to be more fruitful than you've ever imagined it could be.

Day 9: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

High and Holy Calling

In Proverbs 31, we read about a woman who gives and gives and gives. How does she keep giving?

• You’re never more like Jesus than when you’re serving.
• What a blessing it is for a man to know that there’s a wife at home who’s watching and praying on his behalf, praying that as he goes out into the world God will protect him and keep his heart pure.
• It is a high and holy calling to be a helper to your husband and to manage the affairs of your household.
This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.

Moving on…..

I remember years ago sitting in church and listening to our pastor preach. I could feel God’s Spirit moving in me, and was keenly aware of God’s presence with me. On a Youth Sunday, I was asked to read Scripture. Even though I was shy and didn’t say much in Sunday School, I agreed. I stood behind the pulpit with my knees shaking and spoke as confidently as I could. Afterwards, several people told me that they knew I would be used by God. Someone even suggested that I should think about preaching the next time.

I could read the Bible. But preaching? That was never going to happen.

Few years after I moved to a new place, for the first time in my life I was in the religious minority, and it was a difficult transition. Add to that the awkwardness of puberty, and I had some very trying years. I began to think about having a boyfriend, and wondering who God might lead me to marry. I started attending a bible study group that led several studies about dating and marriage. For the first time, I started to think that if I was going to have a godly marriage, I had to learn to submit myself to my husband. Even though I had been taught by my parents that women could do anything men could do, I liked the idea of submission. As a timid, quiet girl, I found a tremendous amount of comfort in the idea that if I married a strong, winsome man, I might never have to stand up for myself or make difficult decisions on my own again.

Few months after I moved to a new country to study,  I repeatedly found myself involved the  fellowships. More importantly I found myself more involve in conversations about women’s submission, the evils of women’s ordination, and the importance of marrying a strong, Christian man who would lead the family. Surprisingly, the more I heard this message, the more I began to question it.

 In 2010 I wrote this in my journal:
”Today I felt a calling, a calling towards ministry. I don’t know if this would be music ministry, or otherwise. I pray to the Lord of Hosts that He may be the interpreter of such a calling!”

In spite of holding a worldview that told me I couldn't be called, God spoke to me and confirmed that I was called to ministry. I immediately excused the thought of pastoral ministry, and decided it must be music ministry, or something more “appropriate” for a woman. Soon I found myself taking up a major leadership position in the fellowship.  I knew God was calling me, and I knew I desperately wanted to be faithful to God. The only thing holding me back was an intense yearning to be faithful to God without having to stand in front of a lot of people, I mean…wouldn't it have been awesome if I just did it with my friends and not a whole congregation? My mind pondered on that for a while.  I thought that if I preached, people would take exception to me before I even opened my mouth. I’d step behind the pulpit and people would outrightly judge me. 

The morning before I preached my first sermon, I went on my knees and prayed, “God, please let me hate preaching. I don’t want to do this. I’m just doing this so I can teach. Please, please, help me hate this.”
And, then I didn’t.

My first sermon was rough, but there was a distinct moment while I was preaching that I felt God taking my words and transforming them.

Then it occurred to me that a person called by God has been anointed by Him for this role. Just as God anointed Moses, David, and the prophets and apostles, He anointed me. What caused the people to listen to and follow Moses? What did David have that his brothers did not? God’s anointing. God’s favor. This anointing is not something to be prideful about. I realized that the words that I spoke then and several Sundays after on that pulpit had nothing to do with me. It was God’s choosing.

Through your call, you know that God has set you apart to serve Him and others. Through the anointing, others can see God’s hand on you.

With time I began to understand that I was not working for God but with God. If I’m working for God, then He simply needs to tell me what to do and I will do it. On the other hand, if I’m working with God, then there is a constant realization that I’m limited in what I can do on my own. While I’m limited on what I can do, I’m connected to the One who can do anything. I may have limited wisdom, but I know the God of all wisdom. I am aware of my limits in loving others, in bringing healing or comfort but I’m connected to an unlimited God. When we realize that God is the one who empowers us to fulfill our calling, we are working with Him and not for Him.

God wants us to stand out as women who know we have something valuable to offer the world. We are capable, intelligent, and virtuous women who inspire full confidence in those who rely on us most, whether our husband, children, employer, or co-worker. The people around us can have full confidence in us because we have full confidence in God and we live accordingly.

You can have full confidence in God no matter what season of life you’re in right now. Maybe you’re a mother at home with small children. Or an empty nester. You may be single . . . or single again. I don’t know what situation you’re in, but I do know who is in the midst of that situation with you: a loving God who cares so much for you that he paid the ultimate price so you and he never have to spend even one day apart. He laid down his life to ensure that someday you’ll be the honored guest at the ultimate wedding in heaven, when Jesus celebrates the church as his eternal bride.

You may or may not have an earthly husband, but you do have a heavenly Husband. Married or single, God wants you to be his wife of noble character. So this study of Proverbs 31 is relevant to all of us. I want to encourage you to listen for his encouragement along your journey, whether or not you receive any positive feedback from anyone else. 

You may live with a critical friend or be in an otherwise difficult marriage or family relationship. Remember, you are on the road to becoming the woman God wants you to be. Ideally, everyone shares the same goals for you as God does. Hopefully, everyone you know wants you to be the very best you can be, but that’s not necessarily the case. Some of us live with people who seem determined to discourage us or people who want to drag us down. Don’t focus on human feedback. Focus on your relationship with your heavenly Husband and live to please him.

Finally, remember that God's calling for your life goes way beyond what you do. It's who you are, where you belong, who and how you love. But, just as God called me out of an unlikely situation, God continues to call, speak, and guide. All I have to do is follow – even when following means pain.

Day 8: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

What Does Your Home Communicate?

What is your home saying to your neighbors or the repairman who stopped in last week? Discover how an orderly home can bring glory to God.

• God gave you the responsibility to watch over your children—to know when they’re coming, when they’re going, and what they’re doing.
• If you have lots of time to talk on the phone, you may be missing out on some of things you should be doing with that time. When we have lots of time to talk, we tend to become gossips and busybodies.
• Through a repentant heart and a teachable, humble spirit, all of us can learn to acquire those skills and disciplines we need in order to be the women God wants us to be.
This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.”

Moving on…..

This is how the wise woman builds her house: She fills it with prayer, love, kindness, encouragement, and godly instruction for her family. She desires to partner with her husband and with God in the building of her home: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

Do you truly desire to be a wise woman? Is it your desire to be a godly wife? A godly mother? Just being a Christian does not automatically make you a godly wife and mother. It does not guarantee that you will have a godly home. Being a wise woman, a godly wife and mother, so that you can build a happy, godly home, takes hard work. It takes time and effort.

Building a godly home is much the same. A beautiful, happy home can only be built with hard labor. There has to be a plan, a blueprint. God's Word is the blueprint for building a happy home. Just as the builder must follow the blueprint to build a house, we must follow God's blueprint if we want a happy home. We must make an investment of time spent in the Word of God and in prayer. 

We must gather the right materials, according to God's commands, and put them together in the right order, the order He has given us for being a successful Christian. We must build a solid foundation first - - that foundation is a proper view of who God is and the salvation that results from this view of God. We must make sure our foundation is strong so that the whole structure will be strong. We must labor for days, weeks, months, years to build that structure. Sometimes we make mistakes.

Those mistakes must be corrected by confession and forsaking of sin. Even after the structure has been securely built, there must be regular maintenance to keep it from disrepair and keep it fit for its residents.

 God gives us the ability to do one or the other with our homes. I want to choose to be a builder. With God’s help, I believe I can! I pray God will bless you also as you choose to seek God in the building up of your own house.

Day 7:30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge,

Measured Words

You can spend days cultivating a close relationship with someone, but it can all be destroyed by a few sinful words. Learn how to carefully measure your words.

• Isn’t it sad that we’re so much more careful about the words we say outside our homes than we are about the words we say inside our homes?
• So often, we just say whatever we think, especially when we’re with people we know really well. We just let down our hair, and we’re not so conscious about what we’re saying.
• If you humble yourself every time you sin with your mouth, you’ll start to sin less frequently with your mouth. Stop and edit your words before you speak. (That may just mean saying less.)

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.

Moving on....
I’m sure we’ve all had certain words pounded into our memory at an early age.  Our parents, our teachers, and others would make sure that we trained ourselves to choose our words carefully.  To think before we speak.  Of course, we’ve also been trained to believe that our words really don’t matter, because children all seem to know this silly rhyme;

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.”

Really?  I think I’d rather have the temporary pain of a broken arm than deal with the lifetime of hurt a few words can bring.

Words can be powerful.  Words can also be very dangerous.  Words seem small and insignificant, but oh what great impact they have!

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Those words are POWERFUL!!  Just a word from God, and the universe was created.  Just a word from God, and life was formed.  Just a word from God, and the earth was completely flooded.  Just a word from God, and bodies were healed from disease, brought back to life from the dead, and restored to their full strength. Just a word from God…. is so powerful.

Humans were made in the likeness of God, which means….. our words hold some power as well. 
Power to lift up and encourage, or the power to destroy and belittle.  Power to make someone FEEL powerful, or the power to shrink and discourage a person.

Our little tongue has such GREAT power…. but it’s our CHOICE how we use it!!

A little over a week ago, I had the privilege of hearing motivational speaker Gary Zelesky speak on passion.  One thing that he said that really stuck with me is this:  “People will not remember the words you say, but they will remember how those words made them feel.” How true!!  How many times have you been insulted, hurt, or upset by what someone said to you… but when asked, you can’t remember exactly what was said? The feeling still remains though!

THAT is why words are powerful… they bring with them strong emotion!

As women, we tend to be extremely EMOTIONAL beings.  I don’t mean “weepy” or “moody,” I mean that we feel things more strongly than most men.  Remember getting engaged?  Showing off your ring to all your friends and family? In most cases, it would be the women “ooohing” and “aaahhing” over the ring, the story, the details (perhaps shedding a few tears of joy), while the men would simply slap the groom-to-be on the back and offer their congratulations.

What type of emotions can words bring?  Well, that depends on how you choose to use your words!

Words can bring:
Praise (to others & God)

Words can also bring:


As a woman, you can explore the power you possess, the people you impact, the potential for change, and the profound possibilities as you harness this mighty force and use it to speak life to those around you.” 

Personally, I use the written word to communicate the love of God on a daily basis via posts on my personal page, on my blog and within the on-line groups I am leading.  I’m hoping that this study will empower me to the next level in my walk with God and help me to wisely choose my words, both written and spoken, to bring “life” to my family and my friends.

Day 6: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Working Joyfully

For a woman , it probably seems like your work is never done, but there is a way to make the work lighter. If you tackle your projects out of a sense of love, you’ll experience new energy and motivation.

• The Proverbs 31 woman has a heart of virtue and excellence; a godly strength and character that is lived out in the context of her home.
• This woman is not only a hard worker, she’s cheerful about her work!
• This woman has a different attitude about work because she sees the purpose, meaning, and motivation behind that work. It’s love—love for others and love for God. Her love for God makes her willing to work with her hands in providing food, clothing, and cleanup around her house.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.”

Moving on….

It is not easy to live a life of women these days.  One must play multiple and oftentimes conflicting roles.  For instance, you have to be that wise manager who delegate the tasks to the subordinates.  Sometimes you must make the critical decisions.  And sometimes that means you may have to go at it in a meeting with your male coworkers.  But the minute you get back home, you have to become that caring and thoughtful homemaker, an obedient wife and a loving mother.  Everyday you must put one hat on in the office but wear an entirely different one at home.  Unfortunately, sometimes it becomes easy to continue wearing the office hat back home.  For example, when things are going your way in the office, you may carry that executive attitude back home.  For one thing your husband probably wouldn’t like it.  And for your kids, they wouldn’t know what to expect because it all depends on how your day went in the office.  

 I believe most women in the world want to be loved and respected.  But our daily lives are filled with dilemma because none of us are perfect.  We have all the intentions to do the right things, yet sometimes we are at the mercy of our own actions.  This is the time when we need a hand from God, giving us wisdom to be freed.

Having a fatigue spirit is women’s number one enemy.  What’s worse, very few women can detect the severity of this syndrome.  It will rob you away happiness and energy.  A fatigue spirit doesn’t mean you are physically exhausted.  Rather, it is an accumulation of emotional exhaustion over time.  Some symptoms for this condition include seeing future as hopeless, unable to concentrate when working or talking, headache, feeling miserable or lonely, anxiety, fear, jealousy, etc. 

Give yourself opportunities to learn new things, have more buddies who you can share your personal issues with, and find the meaning of your life are all excellent ways to prevent the problem.  Remember, God created each woman with His unique master plan.  Whether you are single or a newlywed, having young or grown children, it doesn’t matter.  Every woman should be an joyful and attractive woman, enjoy God’s peace each and every day.

Tips to getting a Joyful spirit:


Go out with your good buddies:  You can go sightseeing, maybe go shopping and have a fancy feast.  You’ll realize your family will survive the day without you just fine.

Composition:  Writing can go deeper than your voice.  Put your thoughts and experiences in writing.  Share your joy and feelings with the readers.  Maybe it will not only help yourself, but also help the readers.
Appreciate music or learn to play an instrument:  It doesn’t matter which type of  music or instrument.  You’ll find that they are fun to listen and even more fun to sing or play it.  If you have some spare time, take a class to learn your favorite instrument.  You’ll discover life is not boring after all.

Exercise regularly:  If you don’t want to age faster than you should, or having no one recognizing you in your high school reunion, then you must exercise regularly.  You can exercise with your husband or friend.  Maybe go to a fitness center, do some aerobics, swimming, etc.  Anyway, if you want to be healthy, the first thing you have to do is exercise, exercise, and exercise.  What you do will affect your weight and appearance.  Whatever you choose to do or not to do, you are the one ultimately responsible for your health and life span.

Attend and be involved in church and fellowship:  Maybe you never went to a church before, or perhaps you stopped going a long time ago because of some reason.  Try to find a church nearby that’s right for you.  Then make some time to attend their gatherings.  Maybe you’ll get a big surprise.

The God of Peace is only one prayer away. If you want the confident expectation of His strength and wisdom in your today and His help and hope for your tomorrow, you need only ask. Just tell Him… “May the God of Peace fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

I only have this one life. ONE LIFE. I don’t get a do over! So it’s my choice to live THIS LIFE full of joy in the moment.

Day 5: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

A Godly Woman’s Work

Do you realize that the work you do today is important to God? Learn how you can glorify God in the way you work and in where you work.

• It is a privilege and a high and holy calling to tend to the practical, physical affairs of your home.
• Your good works ought to first be done at home, ministering to the needs of your family. Then as God gives you time, opportunity, available resources—or in a different season of life—take those gifts and abilities and expand them.
• As you handle the practical details related to the care of your family, there is profit. Work is good!
This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.

Moving on…..

I realize that this post may offend certain people… good people, people who I’d probably really get along with otherwise.

But for the record, I am not sorry.

Over the last couple of days, a fire has come over me and I can’t keep silent.

You see, I hate when women stand before other women and use their platform to hide behind facades of ideal marriages, perfect specimens of children, and strong opinions on the likes of breastfeeding, vaccines, and church politics.

I cringe when the Kim Kardashian’s of the world pose half-naked in an attempt to prove that they’re still sexy, when any ‘real mom’ feels like anything but! When friends on Facebook post statuses like “Made 6 loaves of banana bread, ran 12.8 miles, fed the homeless, and saved a cat, and was still able to get home in time to make dinner tonight” – while the rest of us are left wondering how we even made it out of our pajamas today.

I don’t know when being sexy and domestically superior made us more of a woman, but let me challenge you with what I believe is the #1 misconception of a Godly woman…

I once went to a seminar on Christian womanhood, the idea was to learn what it means to be a Godly woman. What it takes to produce fruits and be used by God for his God given purpose.

And yet, THIS. is what we learned…

- How to execute a wedding. I however, sat there uninterested, and unapologetic. I mean, seriously? 

- We had a guest speaker who spoke on the importance of making dinner for our families each night, and pointed out the convenience of using a crock pot. Yep, it happened.  

- I also vaguely remember a lesson on why we must only read the King James Version of the Bible. But I can’t give you any notes on that, because I completely tuned that one out.

-  We also did an in-depth study of Proverbs 31 in the Bible. Which wasn’t bad per se. 

The Proverbs 31 woman is a lot of things; domestic and lovely, successful, and well-respected. But most repeated, she is STRONG! Not anything like the passive and weak woman we are so often encouraged to be. She has no fear of the season – the difficult times to come – and is most definitely not limited to planning weddings and using crock pots.

I began to think back to the times I have had to be strong…

Like when almost 2 years back I lost my Mum, I would have thought she would live to see me comparing paint swatches for my  living room, and sharing the quality times together (or whatever it is that mums and daughters  do!) but instead, I was battling grieve out . I remember me asking God or even more clearly, me kicking and screaming begging God to let me move on; to give me permission to be angry at him! But the Lord never wavered. I was furious, and shaken, but I was STRONG enough to choose to please the Lord above all else, and embark on a journey to learn and accept his will.  And for the record,  I am so incredibly glad I did!

And so, if I could teach a class on christian womanhood – and if all of you reading were my exceptionally lovely students! – I would tell you that the most breathtaking picture of ‘christian womanhood’ is not merely sweet, modest, well-spoken, domestic goddesses, but the woman who’s strength and unshakeable faith lifts up all those around her despite the circumstance or ‘winter’ she has found herself in. (Prov. 31:21)

That no matter how beautiful of a bride you make, that your marriage may still feel hopeless at times. And to remember that when that day comes, that it’s not a direct reflection of the INADEQUACY of you, but the potential GREATNESS that God can be if we allow Him! 

That one day, the strong men we marry, may need OUR strength to literally and physically pick them up off the floor… And that it’s not a damn crock pot that will save the day, but the fire deep within us to FIGHT for our marriages and for our husbands to be the godly men that the Lord desires them to be!

Because the truth is, everyone will at times let us down. But by choosing to find our strength in Christ, there is NOTHING God can’t grant us, and NOTHING He cannot restore! We only need to turn to Him, for He is the only one capable of giving life to our broken hearts, and give us the strength we need to keep holding on.

And it would be as simple as that. That itself is a Godly Woman’s Work.

Day 4: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Committed to Marriage

Marriage is a covenant. Learn more about this lifelong commitment.

• A wife has a permanent, unconditional commitment to act in a way that is according to her husband’s best interests—not to serve herself, but to serve her husband.
• A husband can trust a godly wife to speak well of him and to keep confidences. He can trust her in the way she speaks about him. He can trust her to protect his reputation.
• A godly wife inspires a man to be worthy of her devotion. He rises to that because he knows he has a woman who is an asset, not a liability—a woman who supports, encourages, and helps him in every way possible.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.”

Moving on….

Marriage is one topic I really hate to write about, mainly because I have no experience in that area but one thing I know for sure is that Christ-Church relationship provides us with a perfect model for our own marriage. So when I think about it, I always think about Christ and the Church and that is mainly what I will write about today.

First of all, I want to encourage every spouse, or every future spouse to commit yourself to a life of prayer. Doctrine without prayer is boring. Marriage and family life without prayer is boring and burdensome. We need daily prayer. We need daily mental prayer to foster that deep covenant of friendship with Jesus Christ. Only then can romance and sex and intimacy become the things that God designed them to be. If we make that the be-all and end-all, we know, I can tell you for sure, our marriages will flounder. Sexual intimacy is not meant to be fireworks, but rather glowing embers that God uses to bring the warmth of covenant love and life into everyday experience.

So, what is the most common misconception Christians have about marriage? "Finding a 'soul mate' — someone who will complete us,". "The problem with looking to another human to complete us is that, spiritually speaking, it's idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in God . . . and if we expect our spouse to be 'God' to us, he or she will fail every day. No person can live up to such expectations."
Everyone has bad days, yells at his or her spouse, or is downright selfish. Despite these imperfections, God created the husband and wife to steer each other in His direction. When a husband/wife forgives . . . and accepts, he/she learns to receive God's forgiveness and acceptance as well. In that moment, he/ she is modeling God to the other, revealing God's mercy, and helping them to see the very real spiritual reality."

While it's easy to see why God designed an other-centered union for a me-centered world, living that way is a challenge. So when bills pile up, communication breaks down and you're just plain irritated with your husband or wife, these reminders help us to ease the tension.

We need, therefore, a lot of humility and patience before God and before our spouse. We need to recognize ourselves for who we are, with our weaknesses. We need to recognize Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives and of our marriages and families, and a source of the daily graces we need. We need to see that the speck we have detected in our spouse's eye is not normally as big as the beam in our own. We often exaggerate the faults in our spouse because we have not allowed the Lord to show us our own problems. But if there is one truth I really believe that we need to live more than any other, it's forgiveness. Jesus Christ has forgiven the Church. He has washed her. He has cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. He has given to us His own Holy Spirit, so that we, as His bride, might be pure and holy. Therefore, the Christ-Church relationship gives to us the greatest principle of forgiveness. That is the way we live our daily lives.

In light of that we need to respect each other's freedom. I am not the Holy Spirit. I am somebody’s future wife. He is not the Holy Spirit to me but we both can allow the Holy spirit work in and through us. We cannot force each other to do certain things. We have to respect freedom. We also have to assume the best on the part of the other and trust God to work in the life of our spouse and see that that is what the covenant is there for.

We need to recognize that the other person is filled with Christ. So ultimately, I'm not trusting a fallible sinner who is just like me, I am trusting Jesus Christ in His capacity and His desire to work in their life just as He can work in mine. And as we experience that, we can find common ground. We can cultivate common interests. We can really share the natural and the supernatural life that we have in Christ together. 

Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and consider themselves Christians, who promise "until death do us part," can have it all fall apart. "We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession,". Instead,  we can appreciate what God designed marriage to provide: partnership, spiritual intimacy and the ability to pursue God — together.